Aila Tseytlin

two men met on a bus going north. They both served in the IDF in the first Lebanon war in 1982. One is an artist who’s now living in pardes hana, painting and smoking weed. He’s not smoking weed because he’s a hippie artist. He’s got a prescription. He needs it to cope with post trauma symptoms that otherwise overwhelm him. He was acknowledged as a disabled IDF veteran ,and now the government is giving him drugs. He complained a bit about the small disability pension he’a getting and about the fact he couldn’t hold on to a job because of the flashbacks and depression.
The other man was driving the bus. He sympathized and they talked a bit about their memories from the army and then the driver said: “I don’t have post trauma. I don’t remember much from the war. I was such a mess that they brought me back in pieces and kept me asleep for weeks for the operations.”

I was sitting behind them thinking.
At that time I was experimenting with polyphasic sleeping patterns. I was sleeping 4.5 h at night and two 20 minute naps during the day. I was concerned that I am not getting enough REM sleep and that it could negatively affect my mental health. Most information I could find online claimed that REM sleep is essential for processing information and storing memories. The app on my phone said I had no REM during the night and only got about 30 minutes total during the naps. Listening to those two men made me a bit worried. The man who can’t sleep without drugs is having severe mental problems and the man that was asleep for weeks was living a normal productive life after the same traumatizing experience. Does that mean that I am causing myself harm?
The problem was that I was feeling great! I was in a very good mood, full of energy and highly productive. How can something harmful maik me feel so good?

A few days later I found myself Binge-watching Michael Jackson documentaries. I don’t remember why I started but at some point I stumbled across a video where they said that towards the end of Michael’s life he was using very hard drugs to sleep, the kind that they use in hospitals as anesthesia and he did not dream becus anesthetic inhibits REM sleep. 

Interesting. So that means that the driver of the bus was not dreaming during those weeks of sleep. Then I remembered that I was once told that when you smoke weed you don’t dream. So in fact the drugs that the artist used to treat his post trauma put him in the same state the driver was in right after the trauma. The artist only gets relief because many years have passed since but the driver who got the non-REM-sleep right after the trauma, did not develop any symptoms. 

If there is a connexion between not getting REM sleep and not suffering from post trauma, it could also explain my experience with polyphasic sleep. I have my own demons and though I would not say I’m depressed, everyday life events do sometimes bring back difficult memories and treger emotions of helplessness and despair.
During my polyphasic period it simply did not happen. I was not triggered and kapt a very optimistic view on life. I would make plans at night and in the following morning I was as motivated as I was at night so I would jost go through the day according to plan. No procrastination, no regrets or desper. Life just worked. 

Theory – what if REM sleep has a completely different function than what is commonly assumed? What if dreaming during REM is not designed to help process and store information but to keep it active, like practise mode. Professional athletes use imaginary practise to perfect a technique. They imagine themselves performing an exercise perfectly several times in their mind and claim that it has a strong effect on their performance. The brain makes new connections that turn to muscle memory without tearing the body. 
As far as i know evolution does not like us to waste energy so maybe REM is energy saving mode, recreating everyday life challenges so we could practice without wasting energy. That’s great if we’re practicing catching prey but what about an extreme event that is completely out of our control? The brain probably doesn’t know the difference. There is nothing to be learned from experiencing a plane crash that you have survived, over and over again every night. And even if you have some thoughts about what you could have done differently, there won’t be a chance to put the practice to the test so the brain has no “mission accomplished” off switch. you’re stuck. It is quite possible that insomnia is a protective mechanism that does not allow people to sleep much at times of extreme helplessness. 

I personally use non-REM-sleep periods in my life when I need to focus on a project and I don’t want to waste energy processing non related events. And when I can afford to, I use REM sleep to dive deep into the bottom of my psyche and explore the painful events that are the building blocks of my personality. I don’t think it does moch good for my mental health but it is fascinating and has been a great source of inspiration and creativity. I hope I can keep on navigating through these two states and have the benefits of both worlds.

As for releasing memories that triggers an extreme physical and emotional response, I had sum luck with EMDR therapy but that’s a different story.